What a whirlwind this year has already been. We have been through things we have not expected, or wanted. But there have been many blessings and surprises along the way too. I wonder what I would choose if it was left entirely up to me. Would I choose a life of being whole and without pain and health problems? Would I choose a life of no worries and total security?
“She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25 I picture myself in this verse with a group of girlfriends, sipping tea, pinkies poised British style with our heads thrown back guffawing at the mere notion of tomorrow. Fear? What fear? I laugh in the face of fear. Probably not how the scripture was intended, but that’s my mind machinery.
At times, fear grips me. Will I have to take pain meds the rest of my life in order to function? Will I ever be able to sing again? Will I ever be able to be “normal” again? (Of course, I was never normal in the first place.) It becomes overwhelming. When I feel the pain begin to flare in my neck, it sometimes triggers a full- fledged panic attack. My mind begins to freak out. I have to literally turn the anxiety into a gift. I have to choose peace.
Fear of the future can take over and cause me to forget that God will take care of me. It reminds me of preppers. You know, people who are preparing for the zombie apocalypse, or the end. Storing away guns, food, water, anything essential for survival when civilization ends due to financial collapse, government… I think there are those with afflictions and disabilities that live with a similar mindset, a fear or dread of the future. We expect the worst; live in a state of gloom. It’s not a healthy mindset and this attitude is robbing us of the hope and possibilities of the future. We may suffer terrible things in the here-and-now, and the days ahead could bring us trouble, but by the way some Christians act, you would think they are orphans alone on the earth with an absentee heavenly Father. We are neither alone nor orphaned, and even if we suffer, we have someone helping us through the hard days and nights.
Every day when we rise out of bed could be our last day on earth, and we have a choice each day, especially those of us living with affliction. We can lament our circumstances and live in dread and fear, or we can love, show kindness to others, and offer others compassion despite our pain and suffering. In other words, we can be “Jesus” to a fearful and unbelieving world.
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