Weirdo

It's true.  I am a certifiable nut bar.  Today I am thankful for chronic pain.  Allow me to explain.  Without the constant pain in my neck (no, not my husband) I wonder how often I would pray?  How often would I plead, and depend on Him to meet my needs?  For that, I am thankful and apologetic.  I could say I would rely on Him without this constant, concrete reminder, but I've failed many times before.  So, anytime I feel like it's too much for this gal to handle, I just have to know I am His daughter and He hurts with me .  More importantly, our physical ailments are not God's primary concern.  That stings a little.  His first goal in this life is for our hearts, souls and relationship with Him to be prepared for eternity.  This world is not our home and the years are short.  Jesus' first reactions in the Bible are not to heal first, but to forgive sins.  Healing comes after. For example, the paralyzed man lowered through the ceiling.  He loves us so much that His first priority is eternity.  Of course he is still moved by the diseases that attack us and He hates to see us suffer.  My ultimate healing isn't the point. My changed life is what will bring glory to God.  If that's what He's trying to do here, that would make it worthwhile.  If I had to choose, I would favor glorifying God in my healing.  It can happen.  However, God is also glorified in a life well-lived in spite of a debilitating injury or damaging illness.  Though I struggle, I refuse to waiver in my faith.  That's what can inspire others. 
I am also thankful because the pain helps me be fueled by compassion and empathy.  When someone is hurting, I know how to pray.  I get it.  I am not going to be flippant when someone tells me what they're going through.  If I say I will pray for you, I mean it.  I just put up a prayer board in our house to help remind me of who needs some extra prayer.  When the prayer is answered, the paper goes into another section.  Since I am a visual learner, it makes sense in my feeble brain.  I think of how many times someone has come to me and told me what they were going through just for me to say "I'm sorry.  I'll be praying for you."  It was not my intention to dismiss them so readily.  I told myself to make sure and pray for them, but then "things" happened.  The pain is changing me. 
"This is my comfort in my affliction, for your word has given me life." Psalm 119:50  My sentiments exactly. 


Verses that encourage me:

Jeremiah 17:14 "Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou are my praise."

Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint."

Psalm 34:19 "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."

Psalm 42:11 "Why are thou cast down, O my soul?  And why are thou disquieted within me?  Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."